a byte of me

This for my best friend, my dad. Happy 50th Birthday Dad. Thanks for everything - all the advice, all the opportunities, all the encouragement you have provided me over the years which has brought me to where I am today.

Its sort of funny, I blogged about Ha Noi and that sort of got me thinking about Mumbai. (Also note that both names sort of rhyme...isnt it cool?)... so I went out and searched for blogs about it on technorati. Here is a cool travel blog that a couple from Portland, OR have started (it seems like they're gonna be in Mumbai for three months before they move on to other locations...) pretty cool... some day I'd like to take time off and just travel the world...

Actually, all this got me thinking.. what if I decide to just volunteer with some organization and spend some time in Vnam or some country. I'd really like to do it. But, should I finish my education and get a graduate degree and then go do it, or should I just go next year, take some time (maybe a year) off and then come back and resume studying. I realize that it would take me longer to get established this way. Also, a counter argument goes like, I can start working and take occasional trips during my time off, but that'd so suck since the trip would always be so short. And always like a tourist (eeks!). Oh what fun it'd be to see the world without being a tourist (sort of like the Vnam trip). Hmm...

I was reading Our Man in Hanoi's blog which I used to read regularly before I went to Viet Nam in March. These days I dont read it as often as I should, but when I read it today, something he had written struck a chord with me. I feel exactly the same way towards Ha Noi and I couldn't have said it better:

" I don't love Hanoi, I'm IN love with Hanoi.

Really. That is what it feels like. Like I'm a 16 year old who asked a girl to the school disco and she said yes. And I'm skipping home punching the air and kicking up autumn leaves.

It feels like a drug. A drug that hits me occasionaly. One of pure euphoria. And I'm coming up on some strong narcotic and my toe is started to tap and I'm breaking out into an involuntary grin."

Below are some of the pictures from when we had been there, taken by Melanie Hill.


Ha Noi from the head quarters of Tien Phong newspaper


Rice farmers in lush green farms, calm in Ha Noi


Army of two-wheelers ready to pounce, chaos in Ha Noi (gosh I miss the close encounters while driving through roads packed with chaotic activity)

My office in the School of Computing, University of Utah 

Suraj and Harsha (facing away) at the Diwali function at the public library (Oct 2005) 

Salt Lake City Public Library (inside) - funky, eh? 

Utah mountains - The best snow on earth to ski (April visit) 

Salt Lake City from a plane (from my April visit) 

Yesterday I experienced something I probably have never. Its a feeling. Of patriotism, missing my country (not anything in particular about it, but just the country as a whole)! Sounds weird, but it was definitely that.

So I was sitting in an auditorium at a function celebrating Diwali (an Indian festival of lights) put up by the Indian Students Association (ISA) of University of Utah. The function started with a rather abrupt start by two people who wanted to say something like "we wish to welcome to this celebration of the vast Indian culture", but they started reading previously rehearsed lines that indirectly implied the above rather than greeting the audience directly! It was very awkward. However, after they were done, they requested the audience to stand up to sing the Indian National Anthem. On hearing this, I was delighted, as I dont think I have ever heard it or sung it after coming to the USA. Its been years.

When I go to watch Utah football games, each game starts with the American National Anthem. Its a lot of fun to observe people around me with their right hand on their heart singing along with it. And its a beautiful song. However, to be frank, it doesnt arouse any feelings in me other than "cool" because I dont identify with it. Its not mine. Yesterday however, when they put on a rendition of Indian National Anthem I sang with it and held my right palm on my heart to pledge allegiance to India. And I felt a tingling sensation in every single pore of my skin on my face! I missed my country. And when I sang each line of the Anthem, in my mind I thought of what that line meant and how it represented India. It really felt good.

I wonder if it is true that one can only realize the true value of one's country only when one leaves it and goes to another country?

So about 10 of us went for the Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire movie today evening (it just released yesterday). We went about an hour early so we can be ahead in the line to get in, but no! we were already late! Can you believe it? Getting there an hour early and we were one of the last ones in the line. So when we got into the theater, only the crappy front row or side seats with bad angle were available. People in the line were there with blankets and were eating and playing cards and it seemed as if they had been camping there for a night or so (i am sure they werent)!

The movie was good. I, like other reviews, also thought that the movie was the best out of all Harry Potter movies so far. Most of the scenes in the movie were exactly what I had imagined when I had read the book. Especially the beginning where the person/caretaker is boiling a pot of tea and sees a light on in the house across from his and goes to checkout the 'miscreant' kids when actually it is Voldemort with wormtail in the room. And then the snake passes by the caretaker who is watching the scene from outside the room and tells Voldemort that the caretaker is outside in Parseltongue. Then later on, when Harry and Voldemort spar in the cemetery just after Voldemort gets reincarnated in human form. Also his looks and features when he gets reincarnated. Everything is the same as I had imagined. And overall they have done an awesome job of seaming together the computer graphics and actual filming. You can only tell the difference if you are sitting there watching for it. Its very seamless.

One major thing that left me disappointed though, is that when I had read the book, Harry potter and the others are still in my head as 13-14 year olds. So seeing the grown-up characters was a bit unrealistic. But I dont know what else they could've done as casting some one other than Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson (Hermione) and Rupert Grint (Ron) would have been pretty drastic as well (even more than watching them so much older)! If I were to rate it, I think I'd rate it a 3.75/5.

After joining graduate school, life has gotten much busier. At any given time, I seem to have work in at least four to five different areas/classes (he he surprise!). With almost all my time going towards work, I would have thought that the time I spend on other things would be fun. it would give me a chance to unwind, relax and just take a break, u know? However, simple things like checking my non-work related email address that I used to enjoy earlier have now become a drudge.

For instance, I use a yahoo.com email account to get emails from friends, other e-newsletters from sites like Forbes.com, Wall Street Journal etc on topics that interest me (like technology, business etc). But these days, I am increasingly finding that I keep putting off checking my yahoo mail for two or three days in a row. And when I finally log onto it, its almost shocking to see I have 80-something non-spam emails that I care about and I have to at least do something about (either delete them without reading, or sort them in folders for later reading and some that need my attention right away).

This and other daily-life tasks have become a drudgery now and I unknowingly get very annoyed at the end of the process. I tend to then wish I didnt have to deal with this at all; although the very same emails I used to yearn to read about two months ago - I love to analyze business stories and catch up with the business and technology worlds, think about new technologies, even go indepth some times.

I am not sure why I feel that way I do. Have I just become inundated with work? Or is it something normal that everyone goes through? I dont know. In fact, a few days ago I had to renew my auto insurance and my current provider (from Ohio) doesnt provide insurance in Utah and so, much to my chagrin, I had to go and find a new provider. I knew I had to do this, and I just kept putting it off for many days until I really had to buy it because I just hate the process of auto insurance shopping (well who doesnt? But I didnt use to mind it as much earlier). So a few days back I put my mind to it and sat down looking at websites and getting online quotes as well as calling a few local agents. It took away almost an entire evening and then later I couldnt do any work at night either because the whole process was so tiring mentally. It was not tiring because it was a lot of thinking... it was the simple drudgery of repeating my information on multiple websites or on the phone with insurance agents that numbed me!

So all I ask from anybody, this world, whoever is just one thing - What would it take for a person to live a simple life? A life without having to deal with mundane tasks like shopping for car insurance, going grocery shopping, paying bills? (becoming a monk and going to Himalayas forever, although as much as I would like it, is not an answer I am ready to accept currently).

A few months ago, I was discussing the Amish way of life with a few friends in Utah and I was asked: "So why live like that? What is the reason?" Honestly, I had no idea. Today I found it out. The Amish way of life, and the limits it imposes, stem from "their core value: Gelassenheit, which means yielding to Gods will" writes Ed Tenner in July 2005's Technology Review. (He has a cool article about how the Amish have developed cool technologies which conform to their way of life and how some of them are even more energy efficient than their conventional, electrical counterparts).

I find this concept very interesting and in fact it may actually have something that all of us can learn from. There are times when things just dont fall into place. No matter how much we try, we cant get that job offer or interview. Or that contract. Or get the assignment done on time. Whatever it may be. If you're putting in all your efforts, and not seeing the result, instead of getting completely bogged down and let it affect your productivity or the effort you need to put into something else, try a little Gelassenheit.

Also, it is possible, that after doing so, some miracle may happen and things may work out eventually. I've unknowingly tried this concept before and have seen it work with my own eyes. In one of my computer science classes at Ohio Wesleyan, I'd been stuck on a problem while debugging some of my code and had already put in hours behind it with no result. Then I completely left it aside and moved on to an assignment in another class. then later that day, while taking a shower, something struck me, and it was an assumption that I was making in my algorithm that I shouldnt have been making that was causing problems. It just came out of the blue. I wasn't even thinking of the problem in the shower. I feel that recently, I just havent trusted myself (or maybe God) enough to put things in His hands when I should have.

Luckily, my reading of this article comes at a great time. Lately, I've been dealing with two different things where I have put in a lot of time and effort without seeing any results. I have interacted with many people to get something done or to work on a situation. I've spent hours sending emails, talking to friends over the phone. This has been going on for the last at least the three weeks (and even more) and at this point I'm completely ready to give up. Now, I am really thinking of leaving both of these upto God and moving on! I think it is time when I try a little Gelassenheit and move on! Whatever God wants, will happen.

Before I moved to Utah, I decided to upgrade my computer system. I had a decent system, but I wanted to get a flat panel LCD monitor and while I was getting that, I was like why not get a new system also. So I got a Sony desktop with Media Center and a whopping 200Gig HD. I was pretty excited about this system, but mainly coz the processor was an Intel P4 with Hyper Threading and had 512Mb ram. I didnt give a rats a** about Media Center. I played around with it and found it darn cool, but never used it then.
Then finally, yesterday I was watching a TV show on TV (the actual TV, not my PC) and I really liked the show. I had started in between and hence I didnt know what the name of the show was. Here in Utah, I dont get a TV guide channel with our cable service for some reason. So at the end of the show I decided to fire up my MCE pc and check in the TV guide that it downloads from the internet. That got me really exploring other features and I finally ended up setting a schedule to record the whole series every week. I also set it to record "The Apprentice" and "The Apprentice:Martha Stewart" which I've never watched and sometime want to try it out. I am just never home at the time it runs. I also browsed through 571 listings of movies that are gonna play in the next two weeks or so and set schedules to record some of them.
Now I dont know if I will have time to ever watch all that I have recorded but its nice to know that I at least have the option to watch some funny or some interesting shows when I am in the mood for it and I do have some time as well. Also it mostly happens with me that when I want to watch TV, I never find something interesting to watch. So this seems like it will work out perfectly for me. Now one thing I am not sure of... how much space does one episode of a series or one movie take up? I dont want to exhaust my space on my hard drive completely...
Also, another thing.. now I can multi-task... like right now I am watching that favorite show of mine while blogging - both at the same time (pic).. and having enormous computing power that today's systems offer means you can do both without your screen freezing or other problems that used to be observed in systems not so long ago... on my previous pc (which wasnt that old.. it had a P4, 512 Mb ram) if I tried to watch a DVD while working on a word document, ocassionally the screen would freeze on a particular spot in the movie for a few seconds until the processor devoted more computing resources to it. I guess having a hyper threaded processor does make observable difference...
Now I am already waiting for my next purchase - a new Apple laptop. Two reasons... since laptops and wireless access have become so ubiquitous, I miss having the laptop I used to have a few years ago. But then it was too bulky and wieldy and even if I had it now, I wouldnt have carried it anywhere. Although there are windows based laptops now available that are small and thin, I think that it would be cool to get one of the ibooks or powerbooks. Plus I have a pretty good windows system in my desktop. Time for some change ;)

Wish you all a Happy Diwali and a prosperous new year
Also, wishing you Happy Ganesh Chaturthi ;)

Picture Credit: PravsJ mailing list. www.pravsworld.com